A huge full moon appeared in the east as we drove home from dinner. We fell silent as we took in its beauty. There is something magical about a Harvest Moon.
Ancient people believed that each phase of the moon contained lessons. A full moon’s bright light shines on what has been hidden. It is time to reveal more of what matters to you. Metaphorically, it is a good time for honesty. It themes represent completion, manifestations and being seen.
Speaking our truth is an important way of being seen.
There are times when I struggle to speak my truth. It happens when I have to say something that might be hard to hear. Waves of fear begin to run through my body as I imagine the situation. Body sensations related to saying difficult things are common. It is even an indication that we are about to do something brave. Amber Cabral, coach and author says, “You have to be willing to push past discomfort. It usually includes a feeling of tightness between your nose and your navel.”
Why is this so hard?
Delivering a difficult message tap into our fear of being ostracized. We are social animals who depend on each other. We don’t want to be kicked out of the tribe. This sounds very unrealistic. Yet, this ancient fear lives deep inside of us.
How do we decide when to share something that is difficult to say?
Sufi teachings give us guidelines. They suggest we answer these three questions before we decide to speak.
Is it true? Am I speaking the truth of my experience? Usually, I need to take time to clarify what I want to say. I need to recognize the recipient of my words may have a different experience called “their truth.”
Is it necessary? Even though it is true, does saying it serve a meaningful purpose? Will it clarify the situation? Will it enhance our relationship? Or am I only concerned with making a point or proving I am right?
Is it kind? This may be the most challenging question of all. It is especially hard for women. Since girlhood we have been instructed to be nice. But kind and nice are not the same thing. Being nice can hide our truth in favor of being liked.
What is the difference between kind and nice?
Nice: Pleasing or agreeable in nature or appearance; socially or conventionally correct.
Kind: Tender, considerate and helpful in nature. Kindness is characterized by mercy and compassion.
This difference may be subtle, but it is an important one. Niceness can keep us from speaking our truth. A kind statement will not always be pleasing.
The Harvest Moon has disappeared from the night sky. But her lesson is still with me. Am I willing to be seen in the fullness of who I am? How much am I willing to risk being real? Being authentic always requires being vulnerable. That means saying things that are difficult to say. I’ve said it before. I will say it again, Earth School is hard. Luckily, we can do hard things.
Are you ready to stand in the fullness of who you are?
Photo Credit: Roadcrusher