Seeing You

Do you remember a favorite gift you received?

I’m guessing a part, maybe a big part, of its specialness was because the giver truly saw you. The “I see you” message may not have been spoken but it was reflected in the care that was used to select the gift. Maybe it came with a card that let you know how much they care.

Sometimes store-bought cards have just the right words printed inside.

Yet, words that come straight from our hearts have a power that Hallmark can never capture. Our own heartfelt words are hard to offer. Why? We must reach inside, under all protective layers, to places of vulnerability. That is where we discover what others mean to us.

Too many of us save up all the best comments about loved ones to finally deliver at their funerals. Is there a door into our heart that only opens after a precious one dies? Is it safer to say how much we care once they are gone? If we don’t tell them, people we love may depart never knowing how they have touched our lives.

December is a time of gift giving in the women’s circles. For several years, we have forgone Starbucks’ gift cards or boxes of Fanny May candy.

We give words.

Words from our hearts.

This is not easy. It takes deep inner listening and dropping into our experience of one another in order to offer something of meaning and substance. We write our reflections ahead of time and bring them to our circle. Then we take turns reading to each other. It’s hard work for the listener as well as the speaker. It’s a weepy wonderful night. Satisfaction settles into our bellies and a fullness that is difficult to explain is our takeaway. We leave our circle feeling seen and held by what we offer and hear.

Circle messages, like eulogies, have something in common.

What if you took time this gift-giving season and told an important person in your life the gift they are for you? Or perhaps gather a small circle of friends and family and tell each other the words you are saving for that goodbye moment.

How might that touch them and change you?

Doing this is costlier that giving diamonds and is even more valuable.

Dare to see and be seen this holiday season.

Words from your heart will become someone’s favorite gift.